Messages From Dr. C

Elevated standards create elevated results.

You notice this whenever you work with an outlier. The bar they set for themselves and others is beyond what most people imagine.

Standards apply not just to the quality of work you produce but the opportunities you work on. If you accept substandard work from yourself, you'll only get average work from others. If you say yes to average projects, you'll have no time for exceptional ones.

Raise the bar to raise the results.

You are the observer.

To know yourself, learn more about the observer.

If you, the observer, are not controlling your mind, then whoever is controlling your mind will control you. Our greatest responsibility is to become the Observer during most of our life.

If you know you are not the mind, then what difference does it make if it’s busy or quiet?

You are not the mind.

Nisargadatta

The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts

Marcus Aurelius

What consumes your mind 

Controls your life

Don’t wish it was easier 

Wish you were better

Don’t wish for less problems

Wish for more skills

Don’t wish for less challenges 

Wish for more wisdom

Your thoughts are the sum total of all the noise you are being constantly exposed to

Learn to be your own filter

Only let good information pass into your life

Pursuit of happiness is often fruitless

Pursuit of right mindset and models

Creates the conditions for happiness

Self reflection corrects most problems in life.

Your reality is a reflection of your beliefs

The quality of your thinking

Determines the quality of your life

Rich people have money. 

Wealthy people have time.

Make sure you are aware how much “wealth” (time) you are exchanging for money.

To win, you have to avoid losing.

The first thing chess masters do after an opponent makes a move isn’t to think about strategy or winning but rather to ask themselves: what’s the threat?

Avoid stupidity before seeking brilliance

Henry Miller:

"One can fight evil but against stupidity one is helpless. … I have accepted the fact, hard as it may be, that human beings are inclined to behave in ways that would make animals blush. The ironic, the tragic thing is that we often behave in ignoble fashion from what we consider the highest motives. The animal makes no excuse for killing his prey; the human animal, on the other hand, can invoke God’s blessing when massacring his fellow men. He forgets that God is not on his side but at his side."

“One sign that determination matters more than talent: there are lots of talented people who never achieve anything, but not that many determined people who don't.” — Paul Graham

Here is something counterintuitive: it's easier to do something daily rather than a few times a week. For example, last March, I started going to the gym. I told myself I would go three days a week. And that worked for a few weeks, but then I found myself slacking off. Since I was only going three days a week, it was easy to tell myself I didn't have to go today - I could go tomorrow instead. As someone who doesn't particularly enjoy going to the gym, going tomorrow always sounded better than going today. Within a month, I stopped going to the gym altogether. I needed a new approach. One that didn't involve willpower. I made a rule to go to the gym every single day. And that subtle change made all the difference. Doing something every day turns desired behavior into default behavior. When willpower is lacking, routine takes over.

Why speed matters: "Part of the activation energy required to start any task comes from the picture you get in your head when you imagine doing it. It may not be that going for a run is actually costly; but if it feels costly, if the picture in your head looks like a slog, then you will need a bigger “expenditure of will” to lace up. Slowness seems to make a special contribution to this picture in our heads. Time is especially valuable. So as we learn that a task is slow, a special cost accrues to it. Whenever we think of doing the task again, we see how expensive it is, and bail. That’s why speed matters." That’s why “just do it “ is such a powerful logo.

We are all just a car crash, a diagnosis, an unexpected phone call, a newfound love, or a broken heart away from becoming a completely different person. How beautifully fragile are we that so many things can take but a moment to alter who we are forever? — Samuel Decker Thompson 

Willpower can only do so much. You eventually adopt the habits and mindset of the people you spend your time with. Select your friends as you would a personal board of directors.

Imagine you took over your life today. If you wanted to be more successful, what would you stop? What would you start? What’s getting in the way? 

“A year from now, you will wish you had started today.” 

The biggest generator of long-term results is learning to do things when you don't feel like doing them. If you let excuses or emotion drive behavior, you're cheating your future self. Put aside the excuses and start doing what you need to do.

Hope has two daughters- anger and courage. Anger at the way things are and Courage to make sure they do not remain as they are. St Augustine

Choose Kindness If there is a choice, choose the kinder approach.  What might seem small when we are deciding could matter a great deal to the person we do it for. Given that these warm gestures can enhance our own mood and brighten the day of another person, why not choose kindness when we can?  In the end, that’s what will come back to us. 

Choosing something once is easy. Choosing it repeatedly requires effort. Small effort in making THE RIGHT CHOICE compounds into extraordinary results if we put in effort over time.

"The trouble is that most people want to BE right. The very best people, however, want to know IF they're right.” — John Cleese

RECOMMENDED BOOKS FOR SELF IMPROVEMENT 

1. How to win friends and influence people - Dale Carnegie
2. Man’s search for meaning - Victor Frankl
3. Mindset - Carol Dweck
4. Power of habit - Charles Duhigg
5. Ego is the enemy - Ryan Holiday
6. Atomic habits - James Clear
7. The art of thinking clearly - Rolf Dobelli
8. Deep work - Cal Newport 
9. The subtle art of not giving a f.ck - Mark Manson
10. Master your emotions - Thibault Meurisse
11. Emotional intelligence - Daniel Goldman

Do not confuse effort with results. Just because you put in the effort does not mean you'll get the desired result. A lot of effort gets undone long before results are felt.

Going to the gym is undone if you eat poorly. Focusing only on work gets undone by the inevitable health and relationship issues that come from under-investment.

When we try to speed up the outcome, our lack of patience undoes the result. Results are accumulated in drops but lost in buckets. Make sure you're not undoing the things you're trying to accomplish.

A high school science teacher wanted to demonstrate a concept to his students. He takes a large-mouth jar and places several large rocks in it. He then asks the class, “Is it full?”

Unanimously, the class replies, “Yes!”

The teacher then takes a bucket of gravel and pours it into the jar. The small rocks settle into the spaces between the big rocks. He then asks the class, “Is it full?” This time there are some students holding back, but most reply, “Yes!”

The teacher then produces a large can of sand and proceeds to pour it into the jar. The sand fills up the spaces between the gravel.

For the third time, the teacher asks, “Is it full?” Most of the students are wary of answering, but again, many reply, “Yes!”

Then the teacher brings out a pitcher of water and pours it into the jar. The water saturates the sand.

At this point, the teacher asks the class, “What is the point of this demonstration?”

One bright young student raises his hand and then responds, “No matter how full one’s schedule is in life, he can always squeeze in more things!”

“No,” replies the teacher, “The point is that unless you first place the big rocks into the jar, you are never going to get them in.

The big rocks are the important things in your life …your family, your friends, your personal growth. If you fill your life with small things, as demonstrated by the gravel, the sand, and the water…you will never have the time for the important things.

So, what are the “Big Rocks” in your life? Spending time with your children, your parents or your spouse?

Taking the seminar or class to get the information and perspective you need to succeed? Making the time to set goals, plan or evaluate your progress?

When you are hassled because there is no time, remember the story about the Big Rocks and the Jar!”

The difference between average and exceptional results is not only what we do but just as importantly, what we avoid doing.

By saving time and energy when avoiding certain activities, we have more to devote to positive outcome activities.

Taking just one hour a day from one activity (eg watching tv) and devoting it to another activity (exercising or learning a skill) can have profound effects over a 10 year period.

Think of it as an unfair game: exchange one bad habit for a good one. The longer you play this game the further ahead you get.

Some things are simple and superficial - look both ways before crossing. Other things are simple but profound - birds of a feather flock together.

This not only warns against hanging with the wrong crowd (people who’s habits you may not want long term), but also tells a lot about your existing friends and your present habits and beliefs etc.

In other words, it’s a very profound statement that sounds simple.

Next time we hear something simple or obvious, we should put it to a quick test - is this superficial or does it contain a profound lesson(s) worth considering and implementing.

We love to give gifts to those that are most grateful and appreciative.

So does the universe.

Daily gratitude's improve our chances of getting what we want or what we need.

Hole in the sidewalk

Autobiography in 5 short chapters:

Chapter 1

I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in thesidewalk. I fall in. I am lost…I am helpless. It isn’t myfault. It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter 2

I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole inthe sidewalk. I pretend I don’t see it. I fall in again. I can’t believe I am in the same place. But, it isn’t my fault. It still takes me a long time to get out.

Chapter 3

I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I see it is there. I still fall in… It’s a habit… But, my eyes are open. I know where I am. It is my fault. I getout immediately.

Chapter 4

I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it.

Chapter 5

I walk down another street.

- Portia Nelson, There’s a Hole in my Sidewalk:  The Romance of Self-Discovery.

Why speed matters

Part of the activation energy required to start any task comes from the picture you get in your head when you imagine doing it.  It may not be that going for a run is actually costly. But, if it feels costly or if the picture in your head looks like a slog, then you will need a bigger ‘expenditure of will’ to lace up.  Slowness seems to make a special contribution to this picture in our heads.  Time is especially valuable.  So, as we learn that a task is slow, a special cost accrues to it.  Whenever we think of doing the task again, we see how expensive it is and bail.

That is why speed matters and why “Just Do It” is such a powerful logo.

Gasoline or Water

Every ordinary moment is an opportunity to make the future easier or harder.

When we engage in a behaviour, we should ask ourselves:  Is what I am doing going to help me get what I want or make it more difficult?

“Am I using gasoline or water” – This visual is powerful.

It may help to press “pause” and think what would it look like to add gasoline to the situation at hand.  Of course an undesirable situation needs water while a desired goal needs gasoline.  Then choose the appropriate responses rather than just reacting.

With water or gasoline, you can start a fire, make it bigger, or put it out.  The choice is yours.

Dear extended Family of Patients and Staff

I was just reading some research that showed that our well being and happiness (always related) are improved when we focus on others and not just ourselves.

Easy ways to add to our well-being and happiness is to be grateful for the good people in our lives.

In one study they found the positive effects of writing a letter to someone to thank them lasted a whole month.

Another study advised just writing a bunch of things we are grateful for at the end of each week.  It doesn’t seem to matter whether we send these notes or not.  Of course, if we don’t send them the other person doesn’t get the benefit.

In these uncertain times, when there seems to be endless reasons to worry, it’s nice to remember that so many good things are also unfolding.

So with this note I want to express my gratitude to all of you, who have shared so much with me over the years.  You have shaped my career, my character, and literally my life.  I feel truly blessed and extend my heart felt gratitude.  Being of service to you has added so much purpose and meaning in my life….

With Gratitude,

Dr. C

Dear extended Family of Patients and Staff

I found this quote thought provoking:

“The only man I know who behaves sensibly is my tailor; he takes my measurements anew each time he sees me. The rest go on with their old measurements and expect me to fit them.”

— George Bernard Shaw 

Do we take the people we know for granted?

Do we stay “the same”, to fit people’s expectations of us?

Do people’s expectations of who we are expand us or stifle us?

Dr C

Dear Extended Family of Staff and Patients,

I found this a very valuable lesson to ponder and wanted to share it with you.

Thinking in decades avoids a lot of bad behavior.

If you think about relationships lasting decades, you'll often handle the current moment differently. This works for co-workers, partners, suppliers, customers, friends, etc.

There are decisions that need to be made in the right time framework: short term, medium term long term.

Short term, many things seem inconsequential. Skipping a day from exercise, not saving this month, not reconnecting with someone….

But skipping these things over a long period of time compounds the negative consequences until they start to really matter.

When making decisions, think about the short, medium and long term consequences. It’s also important to decide if this is a short term medium or long term relationship etc.

This all helps in calibrating decisions and the efforts required.

To your health,

Dr C